Lesson 13 - Admit

 

Lesson 13 - Admit

Principle 4: Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.

“Happy are the pure in heart.” (Matthew 5:8)

Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Introduction

This week we are going to focus on confessing (admitting) our sins, all the dark secrets of our past, to another person.

This lesson is really a second “confess” lesson. In the previous lesson, we talked about “Confess”, confessing our sins to God.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

This week we are talking about confessing (admitting) our sins to each other.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Why Admit My Wrongs?

We admit (confess) our wrongs to each other for healing.

In the next section we will talk about who we admit our wrongs to.

Healing in this context is the replacement of self loathing with self-respect. The replacement of feeling guilty with the feeling of innocence. A replacement of feeling of weak and without energy with a feeling of strength and health. And being trapped in old habits with freedom.

Admitting—out loud—our sin to each other clears the path for transformation by the Holy Spirit. Coming into alignment with what the Bible teaches conforms us to God's image.

2 Corinthians 3:18 And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

What does this sort of transformation look like?

4 Things We Lose

1. We lose our sense of isolation. Somebody is going to come alongside us. This could be our sponsor, accountability team, or our Open Share group. Our sense of aloneness will begin to vanish.

Proverbs 28:13 Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

2. We will begin to lose our unwillingness to forgive. When people accept and forgive us, we start to see that we can forgive others.

With regards to Christian community, a Bible teacher said, “A continual relationship of confession and forgiveness among brothers and sisters in Christ cultivates honesty and purity and reflects the unity the church is meant to embody: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).”

3. We will lose our inflated, false pride. As we see and accept who we are, we begin to gain true humility, which involves seeing ourselves as we really are and seeing God as He really is.

Pride allows our issues to grow roots and get stronger as pride distracts us from dealing with them.

4. We will lose our sense of denial. Being truthful with another person will tear away our denial. We begin to feel clean and honest. We can fall into hypocrisy when we are in denial and hold others to a standard we don't apply to ourselves.

3 Benefits we Gain

Now that you know what you have to lose when you admit your wrongs to another, let me tell you three benefits you will gain.

1. We gain healing that the Bible promises. Look at James 5:16 again: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

The key word here is healed. The verse doesn’t say, “Confess your sins to one another and you will be forgiven.” God forgave you when you confessed your sins to Him. Now He says you will begin the healing process when you confess your sins to another.

2. We gain freedom. Our secrets have kept us in chains—bound, frozen, unable to move forward in any of our relationships with God and others. Admitting our sins snaps the chains so God’s healing power can start.

“They cried to the Lord in their troubles, and he rescued them! He led them from the darkness and the shadow of death and snapped their chains” (Psalm 107:13–14, TLB).

Unconfessed sin, however, will fester. In Psalm 32:3–4 (GNB) David tells us what happened to him when he tried to hide his sins:

“When I did not confess my sins, I was worn out from crying all day long.… My strength was completely drained.”

Remember, “Openness is to wholeness as secrets are to sickness.”

3. We gain support. When you share your inventory with another person, you get support! The person can keep you focused and provide feedback. When your old friend “denial” surfaces and you hear Satan’s list of excuses—“It’s really not that bad”; “They deserved it”; “It really wasn’t my fault”—your support person can be there to challenge you with the truth. But most of all, you need another person simply to listen to you and hear what you have to say.

How Do I Choose Someone?

You just need someone to listen. I find that it works best to choose someone who is a growing Christian and is familiar with the eight principles or the 12 Steps.

Romans 3:23–24 (TLB): “All have sinned; … yet now God declares us ‘not guilty’ … if we trust in Jesus Christ, who … freely takes away our sins”

1. Choose someone of the same sex as you whom you trust and respect. Enough said!

2. Ask your sponsor or accountability partner. Just be sure they have completed Principle 4 or Steps 4 and 5. The process should go more smoothly if the person is familiar with what you are doing. He or she will also have a sense of empathy, and if the person can share personal experiences, you will have a healthy exchange.

Guidelines for Your Meeting

1. Start with prayer. Ask for courage, humility, and honesty.

2. Read the Principle 4 verses found on page XX in Participant’s Guide 3, Getting Right with God, Yourself, and Others.

3. Keep your sharing balanced—weaknesses and strengths!

4. End in prayer. Thank God for the tools He has given to you and for the complete forgiveness found in Christ!